A mother in Sherman Oaks, California, has postponed her retirement and given up vacations to support her adult daughter, spending about $5,000 each month on her living expenses.
The 66-year-old woman and her husband expected to enjoy a quiet and restful retirement. However, in early 2024, their 27-year-old daughter returned to live with them. The parents cover the daughter’s costs, including roughly $1,500 for food, $700 for transport, and $400 for her cat, among other expenses.
The family’s budget now feels tight. The mother mentions that traveling, an activity she hoped to enjoy in her retirement years, is no longer a priority. The father, who works as a radiologist, is also concerned about retiring. Retiring would mean losing his employer-sponsored health insurance, which currently costs them nearly $600 monthly to cover their daughter’s health needs.
This situation reflects a growing trend across the United States. A study from the financial services company Thrivent found that almost four percent of parents support their adult children aged 18 to 35 at the cost of impacting their own savings goals. This is the highest percentage recorded in four years, highlighting the financial pressures many families face.
The emotional toll also plays a major role. Parenting coach Kim Muench says that eighty percent of the issue is emotional, while only twenty percent is financial. Many parents hesitate to travel or pursue retirement because they worry about leaving their adult children alone. The mother from Sherman Oaks shares she imagined a quieter home life, but instead lives with constant concern for her daughter’s future.
Muench recommends ongoing, calm conversations between parents and adult children to set clear plans and boundaries. She suggests small steps like asking the child to contribute to bills or save for rent. These actions build responsibility without withdrawing support entirely.
The story of this Sherman Oaks family reminds people that taking care of oneself is not selfish. Balancing love with practical financial limits can aid adult children while helping parents maintain their own well-being and financial security.
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